This has been a big year for graduations. I’ve been to 3 highschool graduations and will soon send my twin daughters off to HighSchool. The first graduation was my nephew from a prestigious all boys Catholic school. It was wonderful to see a class of 300 boys, most of which were committed to serving their community and the less fortunate in the world. Some had been to El Salvador, Mexico and even East Los Angeles where they served meals, tutored kids and basically saw life outside of their sheltered bubble. It was wonderful to see a school so committed to helping those boys find their talents and purpose in life. One of their classmates had experienced a huge tragedy in his life during his Freshman year. During a trip to Texas, he went into a diabetic coma which caused me to go completely blind and necessitated a hip replacement as well. Not only did he stay in school and graduated with a 4.0 GPA, but is also off to college. His story was an inspiration, but so was the story of his friend, who changed his class schedule so he could be his friends escort during the next 3 years of school. So the next time you think life is difficult….remember that there are so many others that have far greater challenges.
I wish I could say that my nephew was part of the “pride” that was felt at the graduation. But unfortunately, he took the path often travelled by those who succumb to their own feelings of low self esteem. It seems that when you don’t feel so great about yourself and don’t feel any self confidence, you go towards the group that accepts everyone…..the drug group. My nephew who lost most of his highschool years in a haze of pot, pills and booze would try to convince me that this was simply the “norm” of his priviledged highschool. However as I sat in that graduation and saw the number of boys off to prestigious colleges and heard so many of them committed to their community services…..it was hard to imagine they had time for the all the “partying.” I think the sad truth was that after my nephew experienced the death of his father during his Freshman year, he struggled to find his “purpose” in life. He struggled to find his motivation to get good grades, get a job and just get on with his life. Instead he took a somewhat “easy” way out. Numb yourself through drugs and alcohol and basically feel nothing….and do nothing.
Sadly, in my counseling practice, I see a lot of teens take this approach to life. And it saddens me as there is so much to experience out there in the world. If these teens were willing to work hard, live a good life and figure out their “purpose” in life…..they could see that this could be the greatest “high”.