Fear may probably be the most difficult emotion for you to deal with during your parent’s cancer or death. As a teen you are not necessarily equipped right now with a lot of “insight” into yourself and your feelings, this won’t come until you are well into your 20s. This makes it an almost impossible task to for you to be able to regularly express feelings of vulnerability such as fear. You may have learned through the years to become a “stuffer” of your emotions, as you strive to fit in, blend in and to never, ever be noticed in a “bad” or “awkward” way. So, if suddenly you are dealing with a parent who has lost her hair, or it is getting around your community that your family needs “help,”….well this can be social suicide. It’s embarrassing to have this type of attention. you may also fear what sort of changes are ahead of you. How will your parent’s cancer or death affect you? What responsibilities are you now going to have? How will this impact your day-to-day life? You may fear losing your “childhood” and unfortunately this may be your reality if you are facing your parents cancer diagnosis or death.

You may have perfected the “I’m fine” mantra when asked by your parents “how are you doing?” regarding their cancer diagnosis. The reality, however, is that you probably are not “fine,” and sometimes you don’t even realize that you are not fine. Support groups and individual therapy can be helpful for you to talk about and deal with your feelings. You might be reluctant to talk to your parents about your feelings. Maybe this is due to the natural “secrecy” that teens have, but it can also be due to a desire to “protect” your parent from your feelings. The problem is when you don’t feel as if you have someone to talk to or can discuss your feelings with, this can cause you to feel anxious or even depressed. This anxiety can come from rational and irrational fears that you may be facing. How can you tell if you are having normal worries of if your worry has turned into anxiety.

By talking through your feelings you can sort through the fears and feel more confident in your coping abilities and relieve your feelings of anxiety. You can also feel like you are not alone in dealing with this adversity in your life.

Here are some signs of anxiety:
- Excessive worrying, ruminating or obsessing
- Nervous habits (such as nail biting, picking at your skin, etc.)
- Irritability
- Impaired concentration
- Feeling restless or on edge
- Self-consciousness and insecurity
- Heart palpitations, butterflies in your stomach